Blue's Clues!

I remember, a long long long time ago, playing "store" with my little sister. One of us would go "shopping", and the other would be the cashier. We had a little toy register with fake coins, and when you open the register it would "ding!". We would take turns buying the items, and then running the register. I didn't know until I had my son, that this pretend play is actually a milestone for children. When they hold a pretend phone to their ear, or push toy cars around saying "vroom!", these actions show they are pretending, and it's not something you can teach your child.

I remember being at a doctor's appointment, discussing Logan's other developmental delays, and the doctor asked if he was pretending yet. I laughed, thinking he was just joking. But he wasn't joking, this is something they actually use as a milestone. I stopped laughing pretty quickly though, because actually, Logan wasn't pretending. We'd never seen him "talk" on a phone, or play with a toy car correctly. He didn't play much at all, actually. He preferred to just sit by his bookshelf, looking at book after book, turning the pages and looking at the pictures. He loved looking at any book, actually, and still does.

Like any other delay, it was hard to realize Logan wasn't doing something he was supposed to be. This was before we had the diagnosis of Fragile X, so we were still wondering why. Why he wasn't talking, or throwing a ball, or now- pretending.

Logan has been in physical therapy since he was 18 months old. One of the things we demonstrate when we're at therapy, is how to play with toys. This included a toy phone for awhile. He showed interest in it, but we realized it was just to push the buttons and hear the sounds. He never held it up to his ear to pretend, even when we did it first.

Around the same time Logan started preschool, when he was 3, he started carrying my purse around, sometimes putting random things inside. It was pretty cute, and we commented on how he was "copying" Mommy. He did this for a little while, then started waving bye bye when he was carrying my purse. Then it evolved to waving bye bye, and heading for the front door. Then he was putting on my shoes, or Daddy's shoes, and carrying the purse, while heading for the front door and waving bye bye. One day we realized, he's pretending to leave! He's pretending that he's the adult, and leaving with his purse and shoes. If he saw keys anywhere, he would have those out in his hand when he "leaves", like Mommy does. We think he's starting to pretend! He's reached a new milestone! 

Recently, Logan has started grabbing our cell phones, putting them up to his ear and "talking"! We never thought we'd be so happy to see our child stealing our cell phones whenever he can! He is getting clearer and clearer. You can hear him say "hello", and he has a little conversation. He leans against the wall, crosses his ankles, and has a casual little phone conversation, it's the cutest thing. It never gets old, every time I see Logan "talking" on the phone I get all excited, thinking "He's pretending!". Love it.

One of Logan's favorite shows is Blue's Clues. If you've never seen it, the main character goes around collecting 3 clues, and has a little notebook that he draws these clues in. At the beginning of the show, he always has to get his notebook out from his side-table drawer. Logan has a couple little notebooks that he loves to scribble in, and we realized he is pretending to be on Blue's Clues! He sits down, "thinks" with his finger on his cheek, holds up the notebook and sometimes draws in it. The other night, I caught all this on video! 

This was very exciting to see, because not only is he now definitely pretending (at one point he stops to answer his "phone" haha!) but he also is understanding what's going on in his favorite show. He's trying so hard to say new words too, we're so proud of him. Logan is making so much progress right now, and we're loving every minute of it!

The Birthday Boy!

Happy Birthday Loganator! Logan turned 4 on August 1st, but with the new baby in the house we had to post-pone his party until August 18th. We decided to celebrate this year at the local Chuck E. Cheese's. When you book a party there, you get things like a reserved table, tokens for games, but you also get a hostess. I didn't really think too much about what that would really entail though until the party was already underway.

The day of the party, we had a pretty good turnout! When we got there the hostess had our table setup with Logan's name on his balloon, decorations on the table, and she was asking about our pizza and drink order. The kids were off playing games, the adults were mingling and guests were still arriving. It never even crossed my mind to tell the hostess Logan is special needs. I always tell doctors, dentists, friends, but didn't think of telling our hostess. 

The hostess brought us pizza and plates, and told us the birthday kids get "special recognition" in the front of the room, so at 6:00 have Logan ready up at the head of the table. We had his cake and candles ready, and brought Logan to the front at 6:00. They started singing and clapping to all the birthday kids, there were 5 or 6 of them. We were watching, wondering how Logan was going to do. If you don't know anything about Fragile X, let me fill you in on something. For some reason, Fragile X'ers usually HATE having people sing Happy Birthday to them. I don't know if they get shy from being the center of attention, or if it's the actual song, but they usually hate it. At first, Logan did great. 

But then, he started getting anxious and didn't want to be a part of it anymore. 

The hostess (on the left in all the pictures) was so great though. Remember that I never told her Logan was special needs, or gets anxious being the center of attention or anything. She just followed Logan's lead, and didn't give up. She didn't force him to do anything he didn't want to do, but she was very patient and kept trying different ways to keep him in the celebration. She never asked why he was acting the way he was, never even brought it up to me or his dad. She kept a smile on her face the whole time, and was really great with Logan. For not being given "the heads up", she was fantastic. I have been thinking about calling Chuck E. Cheese and letting them know how pleased we were with her. She made sure Logan's birthday was a success! :)

 Even Daddy managed to have just a "little" fun haha!

The rest of the party went really well! Logan had a lot of friends there, and he had a blast playing all the games. We were all exhausted by the time we left, and Logan went straight to bed when we got home and slept until 11 o'clock the next day! I'd say he had fun! : )

And We're Off!

Fragile X Syndrome. If you look it up, it can sound pretty scary. Especially if you are told your own child has it. One of the things that stood out the most to us when we first started learning about it, was that people with Fragile X may be non-verbal. Or have very limited vocabulary. We were reading this when Logan was 2 years old and didn't have any words yet. Well, I actually take that back. He had been saying "da-da" when he was about 18 months old, but then seemed to have lost that ability by the time he was 2. 

This became my priority in life, to make sure Logan wasn't going to be non-verbal. I started taking him to speech therapy every week, and hippotherapy, and continuing that therapy at home as much as possible. When I looked at this young, blue-eyed, curly haired, adorable little boy, I couldn't imagine him going through life never being able to say a word. Not being able to simply say "cold" if he needs a blanket, or "hungry", or "sad". We were determined to get him talking. 

We tried using PECS, he was not interested. At all. PECS is the picture exchange communication system. We then moved on to sign language. He seemed to show a little interest in what our hands were doing as we signed "more" for example. But he wouldn't copy us. He wouldn't even try. He then started understanding that when we move our hands, he gets something. So then he allowed us to form his hands to sign "more". This went on for almost a full year. 

This is where we were at when Logan started preschool. He had outgrown the Birth-3 program at the local therapy center, so for him to continue receiving the most therapy, he would go to preschool at an elementary school. When we were going through his education plan with his teachers, they asked how he communicates. That's a good question! I told them that he hadn't shown any interest in anything we'd tried so far. They decided to try the PECS system again. Worth a shot. Well, once he saw the other students getting food and toys they wanted by signing with their hands or using their words, he was not about to be left behind. His first week of preschool, he signed "more" when he had finished his lunch at home with me. I was so excited!! I called everyone I know, including his teacher. He hadn't done it at school yet, we think he wanted to practice at home first where he was more comfortable. Well when he saw my reaction, he knew he'd done something great. That was where we took off. 

Fast forward a few months, Logan was signing More, All Done, Bye Bye, Eat, and Shoes. He was so proud of himself, signing whenever he could. We were thinking this is okay, if Logan is non-verbal but can use sign language, that's something we can deal with. He can still express what he needs/wants. That's pretty much the most important thing. 

Then, Logan started using Gramma and Grampa's iPad. 

There are numerous games that have animals making sounds. Logan started to recognize these animals, and their individual sounds. We got Logan an iPad for home as well, so he was able to play iPad any time he wanted. One day, he pointed to the cow and said "Mooooo". It was the cutest thing I'd ever seen, and the best sound in the world. He then saw a cow on tv, and said "Moooo". Pointed to a cow in a book, and same thing, he gave a big long "Moooooo". I counted this as Logan's first word, and we were all in tears we were so excited and proud. After that, Logan took off. He copies animal sounds, he signs and says words at the same time, he is copying words right after we say them, he's doing great. As of today, Logan can say Hi, Moo, Baa, Hi Dad, Mommy, Melanie, Baby, Bubble, Bob (for Spongebob), Uncle John, Yes, All Done, Yay, More, Bye Bye, Vroom (whenever he sees a car, particulary Grampa's mustang LOL!) and probably even more than I have even heard yet. When he doesn't understand how to say a word, he hums the correct number of syllables. Whatever works though, I say! He still gets his point across. We are so so so proud of our little talker. I was listening to Logan play and talk today, and remembered when we couldn't get him to even point to a picture of what he wanted. He has come so far, and every word is now that much more special, coming from him. He is no longer non-verbal, and it makes me so proud, knowing how hard he works to get those special little words out. He's our amazing little Fragile X'er, and he definitely makes every day special.

Our Journey Has Taken An Exciting Turn!

So sorry it's been so long since I made a blog entry! I need to re-design the layout of this blog now because... we now have a brand new baby girl! My Journey Through Motherhood has taken a new direction! 

Kendallyn Hope was born 7/7/12 at 8:40pm. She weighed 9 pounds even, and was 18.9 inches long. She was 9 days late, which was unexpected since big brother Logan was a week early on his own. Big brother is adjusting very well to the new baby, he loves saying "Hi" to her, and if she is fussing he does whatever he can to make her happy. He has done really well with her crying so far, which is a huge relief. He is very sensitive to loud sounds like sirens, or yelling, but he's more concerned about making sure she's okay rather than the actual sound of her crying. 

It's been over a year since my last blog post, which means I didn't post anything while I was pregnant with Kendallyn. If you read any of my earlier blog posts, you might be wondering about the Fragile X. As I've mentioned before, FX is genetic. Which means every child we have, has the chance of having it, or being a carrier of it. It's not just a random condition. Anyway, when we decided to have another child, we thought of every possibility that could happen with this pregnancy. We love Logan very much, and wouldn't have been heartbroken if we have another little FX'er. We thought about IVF, adoption, egg donation, etc but none of those were for us. We decided to take the natural course, and let God make the decisions for us. 

We still have not had Baby K tested. I figure we have the rest of her life to know whether she has Fragile X or not. So far, the only thing we've noticed is that she is super smart! She gave her first true, on-purpose smile to Mommy at 2 weeks old! Nobody believed me of course, until she gave one to Daddy, then Gramma. She is now 5 weeks old and smiles every time she sees her brother, or the mobile on her swing, or a friendly face. 

I gave Baby K some tummy time yesterday, and she looked like she was about to take off crawling! Her knees were completely off the ground. I think we're going to have to really watch this one, she's ready to grow up too soon! 

Life is definitely busy around here now. We're busy, but blessed. Kendallyn has had some reflux/colic issues, an ER visit for choking/not being able to breathe, and loves to keep Mommy and Daddy up until 3am some nights when her tummy hurts. But otherwise she is a very beautiful, smart, happy little chunkster. We do have her on Zantac which has helped the reflux a lot. Her 1 month checkup was last week, and she weighed 11 lbs 8 oz! That's in the 95th percentile! It makes me happy that obviously breastfeeding is going well and she's getting enough to eat. I do plan to return to work part-time, but I wanted breastfeeding to be well established before I started back. Only problem is, now she won't really take a bottle! We still have a couple weeks to figure that one out though. 

This blog will now be about Logan, Baby K, Fragile X, baby products we love, events in our family, pretty much everything. It won't be strictly about Fragile X any longer. There's much more to our family than just Fragile X, so this blog will be the same way :) 

Thanks for reading about our new little (or not so little haha) addition to the family! If you haven't, please go back and read this blog from the beginning. Makes for a great rainy day reading. Or sunny day, or whatever excuse you want to have! Thank you! :)

Visit www.FragileX.org for more information on Fragile X Syndrome.

Happy Father's Day!

Today is Father's Day, so I wanted to make sure all the great fathers in my life are being recognized! My Dad, to begin with, is the most patient, caring, and loving dad in the world. That's a fact. ;) He helped raise 4 of us kids, and made sure we had everything we needed, and pretty much everything we wanted haha! He still does, to this day, even though his youngest is already 26. He loves and adores his grandson Logan, and is probably his biggest fan! He is always willing to take Logan for walks, or even just carry him up and down the stairs over and over, which Logan loves. He also came to the Fragile X Conference, to learn as much about his grandson as he can. He wears his Fragile X awareness bracelet every single day, without fail. We appreciate everything you do! Happy Father's Day Dad, aka Grampa! :)

 ^Grampa and Logan, at Logan's first baseball game :)

I also need to brag a little bit about Michael, Logan's daddy, and my significant other. He is a wonderful father to Logan, and is so patient and understanding with him. Michael is always the life of the party, and there is certainly never a dull moment whenever he's around! This is perfect for Logan, who sometimes needs a little "push" to do anything active. Michael and Logan have spent some of the best Saturday nights just horsing around and laughing until we all couldn't breathe. Logan absolutely adores his Daddy :)

When Michael and I met, we had no idea that I was a carrier of Fragile X Syndrome. We had no idea until Logan was 2 years old. When we were given the diagnosis (over the phone! Yeah, still a little bitter about that), we had no idea what Fragile X even was. We were both scrambling to find some information, to understand how our little boy could be "fragile"?! When we researched and found out it's a genetic syndrome that can cause significant developmental delays, saying it was heartbreaking news would be putting it lightly. When we realized Logan inherited the gene from me, Michael never once said anything about it. He has only focused on getting Logan the most help he can, rather than "who's fault this is". Sure, he has mentioned there are some things he's disappointed about, he always pictured his son being the captain of the football team, or driving a big lifted truck alongside him while they go off-roading. These things aren't impossible of course, but Michael has accepted the fact that they may not happen. Michael has also accepted that Logan needs extra help with things, and Michael has been there to help every step of the way. Michael knows that Logan's still not the sturdiest of walkers, and makes sure he always has Logan's hand, just in case. When he can tell that Logan's starting to get a little overwhelmed in public, he is a champion at distracting Logan and getting him to forget all about what's going on around him. Michael makes an effort to be at every doctor's appointment he can be, and helps with the physical therapy we've learned to do at home. If he feels a doctor, or anyone for that matter, has not given Logan everything he deserves, he doesn't hesitate for a second to tell them and defends Logan to the end. Michael even went to the playgroup at the therapy center, where he was the only dad in a room full of moms hehe! That's dedication! For being a first time dad, Michael has adapted extremely well to the extra challenges Fragile X Syndrome has brought into our lives. 

Logan and Michael are 2 peas in a pod, with their bright blue eyes, and their love of loud music! But especially, when it comes to eating. Oh my goodness, we never have a single crumb of leftovers in the house. Every day I'm still shocked at how much they can both eat in one sitting. I just remind them both, that one day all this yummy food they love eating will catch up with them...and I'm going to be more than ready to say, TOLD YOU SO! ;)

When Michael puts his mind to something, he doesn't quit until he's achieved his goal. (most of the time, anyway. If his goal is hanging up pictures that I asked him to hang, then that's a completely different outcome!) There was a week awhile back, when Logan was just having a tough time. He was very short-tempered, and realized Mommy and Daddy move really quick when he screams REALLY LOUD. Well, I was discussing this new screaming habit with his physical therapist. She suggested a place where Logan could go and be by himself, to cool off and calm down. He could read his books, or stare out the window, or whatever he feels he needs to do. The next day, Michael brought home a humungous double layer cardboard box from work. That same night, he constructed "Logan's place", a very sturdy playhouse, equipped with a light and light switch that Logan LOVES. I can't even tell you how many times we've used this house as a "cool down" place, and it works! Logan loves it, and even though we do put him in there when he's upset, it's not a punishment for him, and he doesn't seem to view it that way, he just knows it's "his" own little place. We love to go in there with him and read books before bedtime, he gets SO excited to share his house with Mommy and Daddy. I would say Michael did a pretty good job making sure Logan has a "cool down" place, which helps Logan, but most of all helps Mommy! :)

So Happy Father's Day to Michael, who has definitely stepped up and been the best dad he can be, even when life has thrown some curve balls our way. I appreciate the fact that he has been there for Logan, and for me, through all of the good times and bad. A lot of guys can't handle being a father, let alone a father to a special needs child, and Michael is doing an excellent job! Very deserving of the title DAD! :)

Mother's Day Reflections :)

Happy Mother's Day tomorrow to all the mommies out there! Especially to my own mom. She is a strong, caring, funny, unique woman and I love her so much! I've always been close to my mom, but after having my own child I realized how much I appreciate and respect my mom. She raised 4 of us children, 2 boys and 2 girls! She was definitely a busy, devoted mother, to say the least. <3

I have been working on a few Mother's Day projects, so I have had to go to shopping at craft stores a bit more than usual. I could stay in a scrapbook store ALL day if I had the time, one of my favorite places in the world to be. Logan had to go with me the last couple of times, and oh my goodness I think my love of scrapbooking will now have to be strictly an online thing. Logan now starts getting upset before we even get into the store! He used to love sitting in the cart, looking at all the people and all the new sights all around him. Not anymore! Now he has perfected this VERY loud and attention grabbing scream/whine, and nothing I do calms him down. I've gotten more stares lately than if I were shopping in a bathrobe with fuzzy slippers on and rollers in my hair. I've tried snacks, toys, having my mom with me to help distract him, nothing works. I pulled him out of the cart to see if he would do better walking, and he proceeded to stomp his feet, clench his fists, and plop down on the ground to scream at me. That pretty much ended my shopping list for that day.

Logan is just growing too fast, and developing his own opinions and "plans" every day. He is copying everything we do, and learning so much! When I am getting the dinner plates out, Logan goes into the silverware drawer and takes 1 little fork out, it's the cutest thing. It's really smart of him though, he does this before I get the silverware out so he is thinking ahead, and knows we need the fork, well forks haha, and he knows which drawer the silverware is in. Makes me smile every time! We've been working on Logan being able to spoon feed himself, and he can do it, but will he? No. He'll do it as long as I have a even just one finger touching his hand while he brings the spoon or fork to his mouth. He'll grab the spoon, then grab my hand and put it on his. It's pretty exciting to know that hopefully soon he'll be able to completely feed himself though! :)

We're still working on the whole glasses issue, he is just flat refusing to wear them. I put them on, and he looks up and smiles at me, then before I can blink his glasses are on the floor. He knows they're supposed to be on his face though, and he tries to put them back on. I put them back on, and he takes them back off. We've tried clapping while he's wearing them (he lives for applause), doesn't work. We've tried saying "uh oh" when he takes them off, to show it's a negative thing to take them off, doesn't work. I don't wear glasses, but I've tried putting my sunglasses on the same time I put his glasses on, to show that he's like Mommy, and he takes his glasses off then tries to take mine off too. I tried putting them on, then turning on the tv to his favorite show and saying "glasses on, tv on!" and when he takes them off, then I say "uh oh, glasses off, tv off" and shutting it off. He started just handing the glasses to me to put them on so the tv would turn on. But.... then he would just take them right off again. We ordered a strap that goes around the back of his head from a website that had great reviews, but it didn't even slow Logan down. Glasses off. We're stumped now! Oh and what's funny, is that he'll find my sunglasses and wear those no problem! 

Luckily, Logan has an appointment at the Fragile X Clinic this upcoming week. We go to this clinic every 3 or 4 months, and the doctor always has GREAT ideas for us, no matter what issues we bring up. I'm hoping she'll be able to help get Logan to wear his glasses. I always get pretty nervous before we go there for some reason though. The same day that we go to the FX clinic, we have Logan's Family Resource Coordinator and a representative from the elementary school coming out to the house to discuss Logan's developmental preschool plans. Since he'll be 3 in August, he's starting preschool in September. I can definitely say I'm NOT looking forward to this meeting, and I'm pretty sure I'll have my tissues ready. I still haven't been able to think about Logan going to preschool without tearing up. So I just don't think about it. That always works, right?

Other than these appointments coming up that I'm not too excited about, life is good! Logan got a new swing from the Easter bunny, and he loves loves LOVES it. He also got a new exercise ball, and he has a blast with that. He is still coloring, and reading his books, and getting into EVERYTHING, trying to do everything that Mommy and Daddy do. He makes us laugh every single day, and this little guy smiles more than anybody I know. If I could ever find a genie in a bottle or a magic wand, I would keep him this age forever. Time is just passing by too quickly!!!

We're on a Roll!

After the day Logan had today, I just had to come post about it so I remember it all later. He was totally on a roll today! He woke up VERY early, so I was afraid it would be a hard day for him. It was the exact opposite though. 

Logan brought me a crayon and a piece of paper from his toy box. This is VERY exciting for 2 reasons. 1- He knew that he would need BOTH a crayon and a piece of paper to be able to color, and successfully found both of those things on his own. 2- He is interested in coloring! Oh and I'm going to add a 3rd reason- he was able to communicate very clearly to me what he wanted to do, he didn't whine and "hope" I would figure it out. He knew that if he brought the items to me, he'd get to color. I am so amazed/proud/excited/happy for him! 

I got Logan setup at the dining table with all of his crayons and paper. He has scribbled once or twice before, but quickly loses interest in it. I was curious to see what he would do. He was holding the crayon, and adjusted it so it was straight up and down, and tapped it on the paper a few times. Then he took my hand, and put the crayon in between my fingers so I was holding it up and down too. I colored a little bit, and set the crayon down. Logan picked it up, made sure it was up and down again, and tapped it all over the paper. Then he took my hand and put the crayon in between my fingers again. This time, I started at one corner of the paper and drew a long line, diagonal to the other corner of the paper. Then set the crayon down. Logan picked up the crayon, and drew a long line! He was copying, and taking turns, and concentrating on a structured activity, oh my goodness I was shocked! We took turns coloring for a few minutes, then I could tell Logan wanted to get down from the chair. I said "Okay Logan, we need to clean up then we can be all done" and did the sign for all done. Most of his crayons had rolled onto the floor, so I started picking them up, and putting them in their bag. Logan immediately started picking up the crayons and putting them in the bag too. Logan helped clean up! I stared at my child for a second, woah, wait, where did all this maturity come from?!

The paperwork we were given about preparing Logan for developmental preschool had talked about teaching him to clean up after an activity, getting him used to "table work", and being able to stick with more structured activities. I think Logan secretly read that paperwork because HE is the one who suddenly showed he can do all these things! I guess he really wants to go to preschool! :)

Logan also figured out how to put his socks all the way on his feet today. He could do it about halfway before, but today he found a sock in the laundry pile and pulled it all the way on like a little pro! Which reminds me, the other day I was folding laundry, and Logan picked out 2 of HIS socks (there were Mommy socks and Daddy socks in there too, but he somehow knew to pick out his) and got them about halfway on his feet! I am still perplexed about how he didn't have a daddy sock and a Logan sock or anything, it was 2 Logan socks. 

Logan is starting to show he understands more words now. He definitely understands "bye bye" and "night night" among a few others. During bathtime tonight, I asked if he was all done and did the sign "all done". He stood up and raised his arms up and was lifting one leg as if he was about to climb right out of the tub. He knew exactly what I was talking about. He has little bath paints, and they have a lid that you twist to get on/off and he figured out how to both put the lid on all the way, but also how to twist the other way to get it back off.  I asked if he wants to brush his teeth, and again when he saw the toothbrush he opened his mouth and let me brush his teeth. Every night this week he's been okay with the toothbrush! He has been fighting this for as long as he's had teeth and suddenly he decided he's just fine with it! I think he just likes keeping Mommy on her toes. When I think I have him all figured out, he does a complete 180.

Maybe he's more confident, and willing to show me what he actually knows because I let him run around naked a lot this weekend? LOL! I could not keep clothes on this kid! At one point, he had stripped down naked, and was standing in front the front window just watching the neighborhood like he was "King of the Castle". It was SO cute and hilarious- until he peed all over the carpet. He surprised himself when he saw the pee and started turning around in a circle hahaha! Okay yes it was still cute at that point, definitely worth scrubbing the carpet.

Logan had a very, very good day today. I don't really know why he suddenly showed me all these new things, I think part of it is that he hasn't had any digestive issues lately. He seems to be more active and feeling more energetic. It could be just that Logan has been observing more than I realize and was finally ready to show me. I don't know, but I am one happy and proud mama! :)